Responsible Art

Reading my husband’s emails, I discovered he’d been discussing intimate details of our personal life with a mutual friend. I feel angry and betrayed, but don’t feel I can talk to him about it, as I was wrong to read his emails. What should I do?

 

An essential quality of a healthy relationship is a commitment to the truth; mistrust doesn’t only originate from others’ actions towards us, but also from the wounding and insecurities inside us. What made you read your husband’s personal emails in the first place? Do you already have trust issues?

 

If so, you need to address these first. You do, of course, have reason to be upset if your husband violated a stated and mutually agreed upon boundary of your marital relationship by disclosing intimate details of your personal life to a friend.

But boundaries in a marriage are often unstated, ill-defined and thus unclear. We may not know what the boundaries of a marriage are until we stumble upon a problem.

 

Boundaries also differ from couple to couple. You need to examine your feelings of betrayal. What does it mean to you that your husband shares this kind of information, and that your friend now knows this about your life? Approach your husband gently, lovingly and constructively – if he feels attacked, he may not be accessible. Ideally, for your husband to hear your feelings of betrayal and be truthful in return, you need to own up to your violation of his privacy.

 

Apologize as this will pave the way to a mutually beneficial solution and a strengthened connection based on trust. Explore his reasons and need for doing this. He may have had no-one to talk to and felt he needed a different perspective.

 

Agree on appropriate marital boundaries, as well as how these will be maintained and revised in future. Then make a commitment to the truth.

 

My husband’s addicted to Facebook. We rarely have time together anymore as he spends every free moment glued to his laptop. What can I do?

 

Many people are excited by being able to look intimately into others’ lives; in turn, they crave the attention they get from putting their own lives on display. This isn’t necessarily pathological, but it allows personal boundaries to become quite blurred. Facebook certainly has its advantages, but because it is time-consuming, evolving, dynamic and easily accessible, it becomes problematic for people who don’t know how to manage their boundaries ‘ healthily – and can become a substitute for real human connection. It requires time and effort, which counters boredom and loneliness for some. It’s an easy distractor for people whose lives feel mundane, empty and lacking in excitement -especially for those who feel socially excluded, isolated and inadequate.

 

Tell your husband that you miss him and wish to spend more time with him. Explain that even though you respect how he wishes to spend his free time, you’re concerned that his Facebook involvement is robbing your relationship of quality time. Suggest that some free time each evening is allocated to individual activities and the rest to shared activities. Propose that you spend time listening to music and just chatting. Every couple needs to connect on a deeper and meaningful level and this is often simply through real conversation.

Any dog owner has probably heard about dog allergies. The truth is, there are a lot of dog allergens in the environment and they can affect canines through the air, water, food, or environment. Because canines are very adventurous animals, it is almost impossible for them to keep away from possible allergens, and every dog owner has to face the problem of finding the best cure for their dogs’ allergies.

Dog allergies come in many forms. There are allergies which can be triggered by the simple skin contact of a dog to an allergen, by ingestion, and even by inhalation. A lot of everyday objects found in the environment can cause allergies to dogs, and dog owners need to be careful about exposing their pets to these possible allergens.

Allergies caused by simple contact on the skin are called contact allergies. These may be caused by grass, plants, and toxic chemicals. Food allergies are acquired from the ingestion of allergens like soy, wheat, yeast, beef, and other foods not meant for canine consumption. Inhalant allergies can be developed from airborne substances like smoke, pollution, and even air fresheners.

One form of contact allergy that has been classified as a form of allergy itself is flea allergy. This is the most prevalent form of allergy in dogs, thus the major classification. Fleas are tiny parasitic creatures that suck blood from bigger animals. What causes the allergic reaction is the saliva of the flea, and not the bite itself.

Whatever type of allergy a dog may acquire, when a dog is afflicted by it, the skin is always affected. Itchiness and inflammation develop on certain areas of the dog’s skin, and like any living thing, its instinct is to scratch the itchy area. After regularly gnawing, chewing, scratching, and licking on the itchy part, the tendency of the skin is to develop allergic dermatitis.

This condition is feared by many dog owners because allergic dermatitis is very hard to cure. It may even infect a dog its entire lifetime. However, there are some treatment options that veterinarians prescribe to dog owners to use on their dogs. These options include topical creams, soothing baths, ointments, sprays, oral antihistamines, and steroids.

Although they have been prescribed by veterinarians, steroids are not really effective in treating allergic dermatitis. In fact, they can even worsen the condition. When the allergies persist, it may be caused by a secondary bacterial infection. Because steroids have cortisone which can inhibit the production of lymphocytes, the natural defense system of the immune system of dogs will not be able to fight against the bacteria. Thus, steroids cannot help but only worsen the skin problem of dogs.

Allergies have no real cure. However, there are treatments that can help soothe the itching and swelling of the skin. DERMagic Natural Skin Care products are effective products that can eliminate the itchiness and inflammation of dogs’ skin. They can also fight against bacteria and help in the healing process of the infected area. Every dog owner should have the proper knowledge about the needs and sensitivities of their dogs so they may be able to prevent the development of allergies.

Life in today’s world is competitive and fast paced, and the pressures put upon children to succeed can be overwhelming.  In many communities, it isn’t uncommon for parents to load their children’s schedules with extracurricular activities that they feel can enrich the children’s experience and knowledge.  Alas, what often becomes overlooked in this scenario is the child’s need for free play.  When there is no room in the day for free play, children suffer.  According to a clinical report by the American Academy of Pediatrics, “play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth.”  Play is so crucial to child development that the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights recognizes play as the right of each and every child.

What is free play?  In short, it is the kind of play that is child-centered.  It is created and guided by children.  Free play doesn’t involve electronics or screens, isn’t scheduled, and isn’t organized or presided over by adults.  Free play is play that just happens.  It can be an individual kind of play created by one single child, or it can be a cooperative effort by multiple children.  While adults may be invited to participate in free play with children, the children themselves must be the ones who guide the way.  Free play can come in any shape or form, but parents who wish to help encourage free play can provide children with tools to assist. 

In the eyes of many parents, backyard swing sets are one of the most motivating tools children can use for free play.  With a swing set, children are free to initiate and take part in creative play experiences, whether alone or with friends, and still be under the secretly watchful eye of mom or dad.  Swing sets come in an endless variety of configurations, so finding one that offers the desired features is usually quite easy.  Wood swing sets are most commonly chosen backyard use, but metal swing sets are available as well.  The most basic swing sets are outfitted with a couple of swings and rings or a trapeze bar, but parents can also opt for more features.  A club house, slide, and monkey bars are common additions that parents want for their children’s backyard swing set.  Other accessories can be added, of course, to meet the individual needs of the family.  Some of the options that are available on many swing sets include a sandbox, different types of swings, or a climbing apparatus.  Pretend play can be encouraged with fun accessories such as a telescope, steering wheel, or vinyl playhouse enclosure for the swing set’s existing club house.

Children have tremendous creative power and can use free play time to exercise their imagination.  Swing sets are just one tool for free play that parents can provide to children, but they are a particularly appealing tool.  Swing sets, in addition to encouraging imaginative free play, also encourage active play.  On a swing set, children must move their bodies while they engage their minds, and this goes a long way toward developing the whole child.

When all is said and done, though, time is the most important tool that parents can provide their children to encourage free play.  Allowing children more time to engage in their own imaginative play will benefit their development much more significantly than a day filled with pre-scheduled, adult-organized activities ever could.